Copied from Reddit. What a bad ass story!
I bought a Chewbacca mask earlier in the day (the okay one that is movie quality), took it home and went out for a pint with the guys. They all retired super early and I was pretty disappointed as it was Friday evening and I was in ultra party mode.
I couldn’t find much else to do that night, so I just went home figuring I’d liquor myself up and chooch my way into unconsciousness.
I have a few drinks at home, wander into my room and the most brilliant purchase of my life is leering into the depths of my infantile soul, saying “I want to be on top of you”
I toss on what later would become my alter ego, and begin my journey around the block accompanied by a cigarette, as I do.
So I’m practicing my beastly wails when all of a sudden, unbeknownst to me prior, there’s a party happening just down the block.
ULTRA MEGA CHEWBACCA PARTY MODE ENGAGE.
It was only about 1am but EVERYONE was plastered. I roll up and got the red fucking carpet “AYYYYYY CHEWBACCAAAAA” (yeah, the fonz was there).
The only thing that came out of my mouth that night were primal screams rolling out of the back of my throat and they FUCKING LOVED IT. I was instantly the life of the party. At one point some guy tried to take the mask off my head and I swatted his arm away. From there on, anytime someone tried to make a grab, I had a posse of fanboys quick to snatch them.
Half of them were on the jazz cigarettes and started getting into these absolutely retarded philosophies about the socio-economics of different races in Star Wars, then would ask me my opinion and I would only respond in tongues. Those guys nearly went into boisterous guffaw induced comas.
At one point they had me doing keg stands and bong hits. I really wish I could have been at an outside perspective watching all this.
Things start getting hazy, but thankfully for me, the more fucked up I am, the louder I get. At one point I jumped on a table, ripped my shirt off (still pissed about that, I can’t find that shirt anywhere), poured a beer over my head and let out a furocious roar. I’m a pretty hairy homie, so they ate it up
I really have NO fucking clue how in gods name this actually came about. I don’t remember any of the content that came out of this girls mouth, but apparently she wanted me in there.
She leads me to a room upstairs. Pants are still soaked from booze. Like a true tribal thespian, I’m still payin’ homage to my furry compadre. This girl pulls my pants down and starts giving me a blowjob and the force is strong with this one.
Tells me to finish on her face. Proceed to do so.
Immediately thereafter leave the party, go home and pass out in my underwear. I’m still wearing the mask, in the middle of the livingroom.
Roommates wake me up and ask what the fuck happened. I told them they suck at partying, that’s what.
So turns out this girl was actually seeing one of my coworkers who I’m decent buddies with. I had no idea, I’d never met her before. Shes actually been over to my house with my buddy a couple times since. She still has no idea
I’m still debating whether or not I should leave the Chewie mask out for her one day.